the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
this boner is exhausting
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
