I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
