he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
