we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
