brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
