if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
