Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
