she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
