There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize