It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
