She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
