Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You ruined the universe
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
