I feel like abortions should bother me more
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
