no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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