it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
