You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
