So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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