Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize