If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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