TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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