I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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