Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
