I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
