so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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