do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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