know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
