So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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