Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
