I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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