i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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