You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize