Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
