How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
BRING THE BAGELS
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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