They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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