Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
