I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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