Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
