omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
