I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
