In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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