yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
