It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
