the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
