I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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