Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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