hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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