i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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