ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
