so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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