i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
