You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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