At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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