This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
