how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
