he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
