The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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