i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
