i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
