I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
