So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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