had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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