Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
